MARRIAGE
Cassidy Bentley & Fabio Gomes
Instituted by God
The Bible opens and closes with a wedding.
It starts with the marriage of the very father and mother of the human race.
It ends with the spiritual marriage of Jesus and his bride.
Ultimately marriage is a covenant you make before God. Before we had courts of law, God married Adam and Eve in the garden. Obviously to make it legal in terms of the laws of the country, you will need to get the legal marriage done by a marriage officer.
Instituted by God
Marriage is instituted by God
Gen 2:18-24 The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” … So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
Husbands must love their wives:
Col 3:19 (NIV)Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
Wives must love their husbands:
Titus 2:4 (NIV) Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children …
LOVE & MARRIAGE
Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate.
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer’s lease hath all too short a date.
… But thy eternal summer shall not fade
… So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.
A LOVE POEM
Sonnet 18 (Shakespeare) - His beloved is more lovely than a summer’s day. Summer is short and sometimes the sun is too hot. Unlike the fleeting beauty of a summer’s day, his beloved has eternal beauty. His beloved will live on forever through the words of the poem.
Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven,
Having some business, do entreat her eyes
To twinkle in their spheres till they return.
What if her eyes were there, they in her head?
The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars,
As daylight doth a lamp; her eyes in heaven
Would through the airy region
stream so bright
That birds would sing and
think it were not night…
ROMEO & JULIET
Romeo in Act 2, Scene 2 of “Romeo and Juliet” - William Shakespeare’s famous tale of forbidden love (published 1597)
Arise, my darling,
My beautiful one,
Come with me.
See! The winter is past;
The rains are over and gone.
Flowers appear on the earth;
The season of singing has come,
The cooing of doves is heard in our land.
The fig tree forms its early fruit;
The blossoming vines spread their fragrance.
Arise, come, my darling;
My beautiful one,
Come with me.
SONG OF SOLOMON
In the Song of Solomon (written 3000 years ago), the romantic love that exists between a man and woman is used as a picture of the love that exists between God and his people. The man says, “You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you… you have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes…” (4:7-9) and “Like a lily among thorns is my darling among the young women” (2:2).
The woman says:
“My beloved is mine and I am his” (2:16).
“He has brought me to his banquet hall, And his banner over me is love.” (2:4 NASB)
“My beloved is… outstanding among ten thousand.” (5:10)
“Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you—if you find my beloved, what will you tell him? Tell him I am faint with love.” (5:8)
“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth— for your love is more delightful than wine. Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes; your name is like perfume poured out. No wonder the young women love you!”
(1:2-3).
God’s love for Israel is compared to romantic love.
Isa 62:3-5 (NASB) You will also be a crown of beauty in the hand of the LORD, And a royal diadem in the hand of your God. … And as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, So your God will rejoice over you.
The love between a husband and wife is a picture of Christ’s love for the church.
Eph 5:25-27 (NIV) Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
Jesus loves the church redemptively.
Love forgives and forgets:
1 Cor 13:5 (NIV) (Love) keeps no record of wrongs.
1 Pet 4:8 (NIV) Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
Prov 17:9 (NIV) He who
covers over an
offense promotes
love, but whoever
repeats the matter
separates close
friends.
FORGIVE & FORGET
For God so loved… that he gave.. (John 3:16)
“Christian love is never theoretical or abstract; it is always practical.” ~ Alexander Strauch
Love is generous:
2 Cor 8:7-11 (NIV) But since you excel in everything—in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in complete earnestness and in the love we have kindled in you —see that you also excel in this grace of giving. I am not commanding you, but I want to test the
sincerity of your love by comparing it with the earnestness of others. For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich.
LOVE IS GIVING
LOVE IS UNSELFISH
1 Cor 13:5 (NIV) (Love) is not self-seeking …
Selfishness seeks its own private happiness at the expense of others. Love seeks its happiness in the happiness of the beloved. It will even suffer and die for the beloved in order that its joy might be full in the life and purity of the beloved. ~ John Piper
Fear is selfish because it about protecting myself, my feelings, my stuff, rather than asking how I could heartily show love to God and others. Love reaches out to give and to meet the needs of another, but fear focuses on what I might lose, making me move away from the problem. Love causes me to work toward solutions even when I don’t really feel like doing that. Fear makes my world grow smaller and smaller as I seclude, hesitate, and self-protect. Love is so powerful it can cast out my fear when I allow God’s love to flow in me and through me!
Reference: Study on Overcoming Fear and Anxiety, August 13, 2013, Used by Permission from BiblicalCounselingCenter.org. Author:Sherry Allchin
LOVE IS UNSELFISH
LOVE PUTS OTHERS FIRST
Rom 12:9-10 (NIV) Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honour one another above yourselves.
LOVE PUTS OTHERS FIRST
Phil 2:2-4 (NIV) then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
PUTS OTHERS FIRST
Love is considerate:
Rom 14:15 (NIV) If your brother is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy your brother for whom Christ died.
1 Cor 8:1-3 (NIV) Now about food sacrificed to idols: We know that we all possess knowledge. Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up. The man who thinks he knows something does not yet know as he ought to know. But the man who loves God is known by God.
LOVE IS WILLING TO SERVE
Gal 5:13 (NIV) You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love.
John 13:1 (NIV) Having loved his own who were in the world, he now showed them the full extent of his love.
PATIENT & PEACE-LOVING
Love is humble, gentle and patient:
Eph 4:2-4 (NIV) Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
Love is peace-loving and strives to keep unity:
Col 2:2 (NIV) My purpose is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love …
LOVE DOES NO HARM
Rom 13:9-10 (NIV) The commandments, “Do not commit adultery,” “Do not murder,” “Do not steal,” “Do not covet,” and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: “Love your neighbour as yourself.” Love does no harm to its neighbour. Therefore love is the fulfilment of the law.
ENDURING
True love doesn’t
disappear in difficult
times:
Prov 17:17 (NIV) A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
BELIEVES THE BEST
Love protects and believes the best of people:
1 Cor 13:7 (NIV) (Love) always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Do we try to expose each others' weaknesses or sin or to cover them?
CONCLUSION
Do you love your spouse like this?
Love is patient,
love is kind.
It does not envy,
it does not boast,
it is not proud.
It is not rude,
it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects,
always trusts,
always hopes,
always perseveres.
Love never fails.
(1 Cor 13:4-8, NIV)
CONCLUSION
But you say, “If I love
like that, I might get hurt.”
C.S. Lewis writes in “The Four Loves”: To love at all is to be vulnerable.
Love anything and your heart
will be wrung and possibly broken.
If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness.
But in that casket, safe,
dark, motionless, airless, it will
change. It will not be broken;
it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.
To love is to be vulnerable.
FEELINGS
Feelings change. You can’t promise to have a feeling. So if love is a feeling, the marriage vow makes no sense at all. But the vow does make sense because love is not a feeling. What is it, then? Love is a commitment of the will to the true good of another person. Of course, people who love each other usually do have strong feelings too, but you can have those feelings without having love. Love, let me repeat, is a commitment of the will to the true good of another person.
Reference: Copied from How to Stay Christian in College by J. Budziszewski copyright 2004, p.98. Used by permission of NavPress (Think Books) - www.navpress.com. All rights reserved. Get this book! Author:J. Budziszewski
Cassidy Bentley & Fabio Gomes
We are gathered together in the sight of God, to join this Man and Woman in marriage:
M. Will you Fabio have this Woman to be your wedded Wife, to live together in marriage? Will you love, comfort, honour, and keep her in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto her, as long as you both shall live? (I WILL)
W. Will you Cassidy have this Man to be your wedded Husband, to live together in marriage? Will you, love, honour, and keep him in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto him, as long as you both shall live? (I WILL)
VOWS
M. I Fabio take you Cassidy to be my wedded Wife,
to have and to hold from this day forward,
for better for worse,
for richer for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish,
till death part us.
VOWS
W. I Cassidy take you Fabio to be my wedded Husband,
to have and to hold from this day forward,
for better for worse,
for richer for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish,
till death parts us.
VOWS
Forasmuch as Fabio and Cassidy have consented together in marriage,
and have witnessed the same before God and this Company,
I pronounce them married in the eyes of God
(You may now kiss the Bride)
VOWS